I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize