with your own penis?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
