i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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