If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize