They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
