is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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