the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
