You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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