i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
