Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
