Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
