His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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