OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
