Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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