I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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