What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize