I love black thongs
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
