lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
