Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
