In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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