I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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