I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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