he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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