Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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