Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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