forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
