Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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