I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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