everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
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I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
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I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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