I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Pants are for mortals
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
