Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Randomize
