It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
