I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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