used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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