It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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