You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
