There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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