Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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