we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
