Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
