oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize