it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
