I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
