people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
