thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
