there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
he thought i was a dude.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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