Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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