that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
