i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
