So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Randomize