oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
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I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
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Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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