why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
