My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
