.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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