Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
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Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
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I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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