I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
