So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
