so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
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after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
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last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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