last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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