I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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